About Us

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We were married on September 27, 2009. We began our journey more than three years ago. We have had four losses to date and are still trying to conceive our sticky bean.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Change of plans...again

The RE said the lining was nice and thick (12mm)...any one know what's considered normal?

He was very pleased with the follies. I had two on the left measuring 29mm and 30mm and one on the right at 22mm.

However, I did get some bad news. The post-coital test was awful. Pretty much all of the sperm were dead. :cry: I feel like such a failure. I feel...betrayed. First I got pregnant really easily. Heck, Dominic was a bcp baby. I just couldn't carry. Then my body decided to stop ovulating. I got over that with the theory at least we'll still be conceiving at home...even if we need meds to get me there. But now my body decides to KILL the sperm. Really, is this some sort of cruel joke? Because, I'm not finding it at all funny.

So, anyway, our plan very quickly changed. We're triggering at home tonight (instead of in office this morning) and going in Friday for an IUI. Luckily DH has to do some work that requires the network to go offline so he had scheduled to work Friday night for today. (As opposed to his usual just switching days which wouldn't have allowed for the IUI.)

I feel as though I'm grieving in a way. Grieving my "natural" conception. Betrayed by the fact that my body can't do a single thing right. Terrified, knowing that even if we do conceive on this plan, there is no assurance that I'm even going to be able to carry the pregnancy to term. We never did get an answer about WHY I kept miscarrying.

This is our last ditch effort. We've already agreed no IVF. If this doesn't work, we're done. (Of course, I don't know how many IUIs we'll agree too...)


  1. I'm very sorry about the negative post coital test. If it's any consolation, I had a negative one (just ONE sperm was left, and it was immobile), I had one follicule at about 18 mm and my lining was... I can't remember. But yours sounds good. The point is, I got pregnant that cycle. You're doing IUI so you have even better chances than I did (preseed)
    I'm sorry you've reached your last ditch effort with TTC. We are there too, we also agreed on no IVF for us, and our insurance covers 6 IUIs so...
    I hope this is the last cycle you TTC in a LONG time :)

  2. Our insurance doesn't cover any of it. We're limited to four anyway...if we can afford that many.