About Us

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We were married on September 27, 2009. We began our journey more than three years ago. We have had four losses to date and are still trying to conceive our sticky bean.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

It's been a while...

I have been really bad about updating.

In my last post, I stated that we have entered the world of trying to conceive with medical assistance. On day 23 of my cycle last month I was to have my progesterone levels checked. I later found out that they were looking for a 15 to show a good ovulation. When my nurse called with the results, I was a big ball of nerves. She proceeded to tell me that my levels were "very high" and they were "pretty sure" that I was pregnant. She informed me that they wanted me to come in the next day for a blood test and then when it was positive (because they were sure it would be) they'd run my betas. (For those unfamiliar with betas, it's where they check my Hcg level {Hcg is the pregnancy hormone}.) She went on to explain that I would have to repeat the betas in a few days (to make sure my hcg levels were doubling every 48 hours). Halfway through the explanation she stopped and said "Wait, you already know this don't you." It was kind of funny, because well, I did know it. After three years, you learn a few things.

Anyway, I went in the next morning for my bloodwork, and much to everyone's surprise, the test was negative. Chris and I were heartbroken (again!) and went about our errands while we waited for the doctor to call. When doctor Leonard called, I could tell he was baffled. He still was not convinced that I wasn't pregnant. My progesterone levels were 68! when they were expecting a 15. He instructed me to come back in a week for a second blood test, because surely I'd be getting a positive by then. So we renewed a little hope, though not much. I started bleeding Saturday, I was never pregnant.

Monday morning, I called an let him know and got another prescription for Clomid. I started the pills Wednesday and the side effects kicked in within two hours. The mood swings haven't kicked in yet, but I'm sure they're coming.

When I talked to my doctor about the bloodwork, he'd made a comment about referring me to a specialist (i.e. Reproductive Endocrinologist) if "this keeps happening." Chris and I have decided that if we do not conceive this cycle we are going to request an RE. Next month will be our sixth month this time around and our last chance at a 2010 baby. Also, it will be our third medicated cycle and we're only allowed six before we have to give my body a break.

Monday, February 1, 2010

I've been putting this off...

The day after I posted the good new, we miscarried yet again. Jillian Evelyn went to be with her brothers and sister at 4w gestation on Jan 19, 2010.

The doctor put me on Clomid, a fertility drug to help make sure I ovulate since we're not sure I do on my own consistently. It went ok, with minimal side effects...I'll probably post more about that later. I go on the 10th for bloodwork to try and see if it worked.

Saturday was two years since Gwen went to Heaven. Surprisingly, I handled the day fairly well. We also told his family Saturday about our losses. I'm so glad it's finally out in the open!

Tomorrow is the third anniversary of Dominic's passing. I'm not sure how I'll handle it. It's hard to think that we've been on this journey for three years and all we have to show is a bag of baby stuff that's never been used and heavy hearts...