I've been horrible at keeping up with this...

This month has been uneventful...other than the Clomid side effects, which are never ending. I'm 15 dpo today. Last cycle my LP was 16 days, so I'm not getting my hopes up yet.

For some reason, the past two days have been emotionally difficult. I really miss Jillian. I guess, it's finally hitting me or something...I would have been 13w today. I would be in the second trimester; just weeks away from the anatomy scan. I should still be breastfeeding Aiden...after all he'd only be 8 months old. I should have TWO toddlers running around.

Instead, I have none of that. I sit here with empty arms just waiting for my period to show so I can call the doctor and start the torture that is Clomid. Of course, maybe we'll get lucky and she won't show. Then we get to sit and wonder if the baby's still alive--if I'll start bleeding at any moment, repeating the process for a fifth time...