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We were married on September 27, 2009. We began our journey more than three years ago. We have had four losses to date and are still trying to conceive our sticky bean.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Self-Doubt and Adoption

It's not secret, I want nothing more than to give birth to a living child.  Lately, though, I have my doubts that this is even a possibility.  I'm not sure why...I mean, it's not like we've even began the fertility testing.  Technically, we don't have a medical reason for me to feel this way. 

But, for whatever reason, I find myself thinking about adoption.  Yesterday I found myself surfing the 'net looking at websites for local adoption agencies.  We've looked into adoption in the past, even went as far as meeting with a lawyer to start proceedings on an 18 month old little boy.  When that fell through we went back to trying to conceive. 

During my search, I read up more on fostering to adopt.  We have also talked about fostering in the past.  I truely feel as if this is the path for us.  Chris, however, wants to wait to look into it, and wants to try for a biological child first.  The more I think about it (and it seems to be all I can think about), the more I want to email the guy who is in charge of the program in this region...

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