Self-Doubt and Adoption

It's not secret, I want nothing more than to give birth to a living child.  Lately, though, I have my doubts that this is even a possibility.  I'm not sure why...I mean, it's not like we've even began the fertility testing.  Technically, we don't have a medical reason for me to feel this way. 

But, for whatever reason, I find myself thinking about adoption.  Yesterday I found myself surfing the 'net looking at websites for local adoption agencies.  We've looked into adoption in the past, even went as far as meeting with a lawyer to start proceedings on an 18 month old little boy.  When that fell through we went back to trying to conceive. 

During my search, I read up more on fostering to adopt.  We have also talked about fostering in the past.  I truely feel as if this is the path for us.  Chris, however, wants to wait to look into it, and wants to try for a biological child first.  The more I think about it (and it seems to be all I can think about), the more I want to email the guy who is in charge of the program in this region...