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We were married on September 27, 2009. We began our journey more than three years ago. We have had four losses to date and are still trying to conceive our sticky bean.

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Left behind?

Every few months or so on my RPL support board, we go through a changeover of sorts. It usually consists of a number of members getting pregnant. In my experience, when several conceive at the same time they almost always go on the get their rainbows together. Of course with new babies the members start posting less and less. (And who can blame them?) Occasionally a member will come back with occasional updates or even to rejoin the board as a ray of hope to the remaining ladies.

Usually around the time of the BFP boom we also undergo an influx of new member. This is what is happening now. We've had three new members this past week. I can't help looking at the board and wondering if once again, I'm going to be left behind. I've lost count at the number of women that have gotten their rainbow since I joined. Heck, I've lost count of the number of women that have gotten more than one rainbow. All the while, I sit back and smile and wish them the best. I am happy for them and am truly glad they are getting their miracles; but it doesn't change the fact that I want so badly to join them and am still so unsure that I ever will.

4 comments:

  1. Well I'm one girl who definitely isn't leaving you behind, save me a comfy seat, and pad the floor, cause I'm soon kicking you outta there yourself!

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  2. haha I'd love to be "kicked out" to the PlayRoom. =D

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  3. I still have hope that you'll be caught up in that wave. :)

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  4. I still pray you will be in the baby boom of now. I don't even want to pretend that I know what you are going through because I don't. In my little experience with feeling left behind, it was the most heartbreaking thing I have been through.

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