About Us

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We were married on September 27, 2009. We began our journey more than three years ago. We have had four losses to date and are still trying to conceive our sticky bean.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Update (and possible TMI alert)

Everyone has been asking for adoption updates. I often don't know what to say. I feel like I'm letting everyone else down by telling them there isn't much to update but there just isn't anything to share. We have a fundraiser coming up soon. I'll share the link then. Honestly, adoption is super-expensive. Until we can afford to have the homestudy done, there won't really be anything to share. After we pass a hime study, we will apply for grants. When i know we have those, then (and only then) will we step up our search. THAT'S when we may have regular updates on the project. But please know that this is not a fast or easy process. Please don't expect us to have a baby in a years time. It's not likely. :( It's unfair, yes, but it's what we're stuck dealing with.

That being said, Chris has been bitten by the baby bug again. He wants to try while we wait...only without the RE. I have mixed feelings. Part of me feels like it would be dishonest to be fundraising for adoption and trying to conceive at the same time. But another part of me feels that if you're helping by donating then you really want to see us fulfill our dreams of becoming parents, no matter how it happens. (Any donors want to share your feelings on the topic? Please be honest.)

And then there's the stress. I've really been enjoying not worrying about where I am in my cycle. I like not forcing myself to have sex just because of the cycle day I happen to be on. Sex is starting to be fun again. We're having sex because we want to, not because we have to. I don't have a doctor telling me have sex this night and this night but not this one. It's no longer a chore to be intimate. I'm just not sure I want to give up this progress for temping, charting, cervix checking, preseed, and pills. Not to mentioned the Soy induced side effects. :(

1 comment:

  1. You both need to want to try again. I went through a phase where I wanted to do both at the same time, but my husband didn't. We talked it over and decided to re-evaluate in 6 months or so. You both need to feel good about it, because it's gruelling enough as it is without adding too many mixed emotions.
    As for the money, well, I'm sure that if you've already spent it on the homestudy and can't give it back, but get a baby in the end, people will understand. I would hope so, anyway. I would.