Tuesday

I have called and set up an appointment for next Tuesday with the RE. I'm slightly nervous that the appointment won't go well...Tuesday is already going to be a rough day as it's the day Jillian would have been due.

I realized this at the time I scheduled the appointment, but now I'm wondering if it was such a good idea after all. What if I go and for some reason we leave without a plan?

HSG and Femera

I just got through posting this on my support board so since I'm hurting, I'm just going to C&P instead of typing a separate blog.

It wasn't nearly as bad as I expected...though it was definitely uncomfortable. The biggest annoyance was that he kept telling me to "relax." Yea, dude, let me do this to you and YOU relax! lol

I'm still crampy but it's not even as bad as my period cramps. (Disclaimer: AF cramps usually result in me being curled up in a ball with no meds helping!) We even ran errands after the appointment and went to taco bell! Going to MIL's tonight for dinner for BIL's belated bday dinner. (I wouldn't wanna cook anyway.)

As for Fermera, I did ask him about that. He didn't seem like he wouldn't but wants me to think on it some and come in to discuss options more thoroughly first. He did tell me that the FDA has required Femera to add a "Black Box Warning" stating that there have been a reported increase of birth abnormalities. BUT there are several things to look at.

1. Femera was created at a breast cancer drug. Woman reporting this COULD be breast cancer patients who are also on other drugs and are taking Femera for a longer time period. Really, in using Femera for infertility, the drug SHOULD be out of your system by the time the baby is developing. Therefore, this could likely be the case.
2. The US is the only country to have reported this. (Canada and at least one other--don't remember which--also use Femera for infertility and have not seen this.)
3. Woman using Femera for infertility could likely have some genetic issues anyway that could cause abnormalities. There's no way of knowing if it's the undetected genetic issue or if it's Femera.

Given this, we are going to research a bit more, but are likely to request the Femera anyway. Oh, and btw, the HSG was normal. No blockages, no scar tissue!

Change of Plans...again

Once again, it's been a while since I've posted. Since my last post, Chris and I have been relaxing on the trying to conceive front. No temping, no charting, no opks, no meds, nothing. Just sex whenever the mood struck. And to prove my response to all those that have said "Relax and you'll get your baby" we have not conceived. In fact, I didn't even ovulate last month. (I know, you're thinking "how can she possibly know that if she's not monitoring her cycle.) I became fairly certain I didn't ovulate when my period came three days early and was light for one day before being done. How is relaxing going to get me anywhere if my body doesn't freaking work!?!

So, now onto what we're going to do. At my last RE appointment Dr. I informed me that if we weren't pregnant on our own be October that we would move to injectibles. Despite my fear of shots, I was excited to be moving forward next month.

In preparation, Chris and I talked a lot about it and we decided that we weren't comfortable moving forward with treatment until I had an HSG to check for any scarring from the infection or from our losses. After much procrastination, I called and requested this painful test. It is scheduled for Monday, Sept 20th at 8am.

While on the phone, I asked about the cost of the Bravelle and Hcg trigger. She told me that they would cost $950+ a cycle! I was devastated. I have been unemployed for a year. There is no way we can afford that. I managed to hold it together until I got off the phone and had a major breakdown. I posted on my support boards in the midst of the breakdown and, as usual, the women were amazing. Not only did the lift my spirits, they managed to renew hope. At the suggestion of a woman on the Trying to Conceive with Medical Assistance board (followed up by my own research of course) we have decided to insist on Femera. Femera is similar to the Clomid I have taken in the past but studies have proven it to be more effective. In addition, the biggest concern I had when on Clomid doesn't apply to Femera.

That about concludes this update. I will post again within the next week.

Today's RE appointment

I can't say I was surprised, though I was disappointed. Dr. Irianni does feel that there is a genetic cause for our losses (just not one that shows up on the tests). Basically, we have to just keep trying and hope for the best.

He did say he thinks there is an ovulatory issue. However, he's not willing to do anything about that until October. *sigh* I'm getting really sick of this waiting game!

Wow, I'm a horrible blogger!

Sorry, I'm so lax with this!

Anyway, updates:

The tests done the day of my last appointment were negative (i.e. NORMAL). The doctor was able to get our insurance company to agree to pay for the karyotyping. Again, it came back normal. This was both a relief and a frustration. We are relieved that there's not a genetic issue, but frustrated because we still do not have answers. Last Wednesday, I had my CD3 blood work done. I don't have those results yet but go back to the RE on Friday. I have to admit, I'm nervous. I don't know what to expect. I'm terrified that I will go in and hear "I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do for you."

My RE appointment

I don't know where to begin. The appointment took two hours! We went over my history and answered a lot of questions for him. He asked me to try to find out more about DH's family history because several of his aunts have suffered from RPL.

He went into great detail about the different possible causes. He told me that he doesn't believe the MTHFR is what caused my losses. He thinks that our issue is chromosomal. However, he can't test for that just yet. He had me go today for some bloodwork (which took an additional 40 minutes!). Today's test included checking my homocystine levels (which I wanted done anyway), antithrombin III activity, Protein S, and Protein C. All have to do with clotting disorders. (The homocystine should have been checked when it came back that I had MTHFR.)

As for the HSG/possible endo, I didn't bring it up. He seemed pretty confident that I don't have any issues anatomically...

We talked about DH's testosterone (which was never forwarded to him) and the SA results. The RE wasn't that concerned with DH's testosterone. Morphology is low, but the other numbers were good enough that he doesn't think that it's an issue at all.

So where does that leave us? At this point we've been ordered to NOT conceive. On CD 3 next month I have to go and have four more tests done: estradiol, FSH, LH, and anti-mullerian hormone.

The tests today were more to appease the insurance company and convince them the karyotyping is needed. The CD 3 tests are to try to figure out why my visits from AF are so short. Once given the clear to ttc, (as long as the tests are fine) he's not going to want to intervene to assist in getting pregnant.

He also told me to stop the baby aspirin. He said that when I get pregnant he's going to put me on Heparin immediately.

I am left with mixed feelings. He definitely seems informed and I have heard a ton of good things about him. But, we don't have a plan...we don't have anything concrete. In a way, I feel like we left with less answers than we went with...

Oh, and one last thing: he said my uterus is not tilted like the OB said. Of course, the one OB is the only one who's ever said anything about it being tilted...

And here we go again: Month #7

AF showed today. That means we are indeed seeing the new doctor on Monday and having more testing done. Chris went to a local urologist (in hopes of speeding things up) a few weeks ago. The urologist has determined that Chris has low testosterone and agreed to do a semen analysis (SA). The SA was today. We will have those results tomorrow.

I find myself looking forward to Monday. I want answers. I want a plan. I want to know what can and will be done to help us have a baby...